i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
