Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
