yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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