i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
