People in love make me want to vomit
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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