I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
