I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize