We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
