Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
