i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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