It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
