i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
