where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
