is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
