this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
