My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You are the jesus of drinking
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
