just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
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He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
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We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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