I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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