do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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