he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
