Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
