I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The struggles of a small town man whore
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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