your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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