Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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