So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
