a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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