Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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