she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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