I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He felt like a one man threesome
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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