oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
