dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
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