Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
