1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
