I CAN MOONWALK!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
