redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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