so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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