there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
