Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
They have beer where we have blood.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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