he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
