Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
