were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
