i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
