he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
