Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
