So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
