I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
