Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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