But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
worst night to have a conscience
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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