It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
