Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
