New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
