Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
