hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
