the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
