I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
