She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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