Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
