What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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