I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
