Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
