I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
