Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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