I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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