It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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