a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
