i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
being pregnant is like rehab
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i out mim tonsoeep
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