Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO