the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?